Signs your soul mate is thinking of you. Sounds interesting, right? Especially considering how to know. It's definitely not what I would have thought. I'm grateful to have been able to attract and be able to experience a relationship with my wife Ashley that has increased my health, my happiness, my finances, my spirituality, my compassion, every area of my life has improved.
If there is a soul mate, she's definitely mine. I want to share with you how I attracted her and it is not what you think. It happened because the relationship I thought was my soulmate fell apart. The relationship I really, really, really, really wanted to work at the time - the only one in my life up to that point that I ever wanted to work, fell apart.
It was the first time I thought I was in love in my whole life, actually. I was about 20 and I fell head over heels for this for this woman. We were dating and I was just in a love with this woman, or so I thought. I didn't know at the time, but I thought I was in love with her.
That relationship fell apart and it broke my heart. It was the first time in my life I actually felt depressed for awhile. Three or four weeks later, I was still like "Oh my gosh.." What happened was I was like "Okay, I need to be happy regardless of whether or not I have a woman or a man to fill that void in my life. I have to create real happiness in my life."
I started to assess. I didn't have everything that I wanted in life and so I put an overemphasis on this relationship working out and I didn't know that at the time. Instead, I took a step back and I said "I'm going to create the happiest life ever for myself."
"I'm just going to be happy. I'm going to create a happy life, and if I meet the right person, great. If not, great. Who cares? I'm going to be happy. I'm going to figure out my finances so I can have the financial freedom to do what I want. I'm going to figure out how to be happy in life. I'm going to figure out how to impact people's lives and have a sense of purpose. I need to get my health back."
I had lost a lot of my health that was like such a prominent part of myself throughout many years of my life as an athlete. I needed to get all of those things back so I started looking at all the areas of my life. I started taking my career seriously. A few years ago, I had dropped out of college and I had traveled around the world and wrote a book about it. I had hit a standstill where I was having extreme difficulty supporting myself at any level off of it.
I hit a wall and I was like "Should I give up? What should I do with my life?" I decided to create true happiness for myself and to give everything I could to my career, to this work that I do today, to focus and not procrastinate, to not let my fears stop me and other people's opinions stop me.
I started hiring coaches. I started hiring actual speech coaches. I hired people to teach me how to communicate more effectively, tell stories better. I started putting my energy into building the life that I wanted for myself.
Out of absolutely nowhere, I got a phone call from my book agent and he said "Hey, it's my birthday tomorrow and I'm having a party. It's in Santa Barbara. One of my friends is going to be there and she has a really pretty daughter. I'd love for you to meet her."
I had just decided I was going to be happy and create a happy life for myself and commit to it. I had spent a few months on this new path where I was like "This is about me and my connection to myself, feeling good in my body, creating true happiness and committing to that fully."
Then my agent calls and that's how I met Ashley. She changed my life forever. The message of this blog is you may have had a relationship that just "failed", and you may just have had a lot of struggles in relationships or maybe you haven't had any luck at all.
A lot of times, we base what's possible for us based off of those things. Then we're sold for so long that we need love, right? If you turn on the television, everything's about love, diamonds and all of these types of things.
What can start to occur is that we start to need it really bad. I thought I needed this woman at the time to be happy. I was so stuck on it. What happens is we give too much emphasis on outer relationships and not enough emphasis on our own inner relationship, our connection to ourselves and your connection to yourself.
There was a time when I could not say that I love myself. I honestly, truly couldn't say it. However, I could say "I deserve to be happy." I couldn't say that I was comfortable with myself at all, but I could say "I believe I deserve to be happy" Then I went about creating a life that made me happy, even though at the time I wasn't happy with myself.
I didn't feel comfortable with who I was but I went back within myself and I said "I'm the only one that lives with me at the end of the day." You could have the most amazing relationship ever, but if you don't have that connection with yourself and true happiness with who you are and how you're showing up to your life and your connection to that, then what occurs is you sabotage your other relationship because you don't have that connection to yourself.
How you treat someone else is how you treat yourself, especially when you're living in intimate quarters with someone in a home, apartment or condo because you're right there with them all the time.
The relationship is a mirror of your connection to yourself. My relationship with this person that I thought I really wanted it to be with failed but it was built off failure because it was built off dependency. It was built off of jealousy. It was built off of not enough.
It was built off of all of those things to try to fill this place within myself that I wasn't happy with yet. That's what opened up the door for me to attract Ashley into my life. Go on dates. Go on all the dating apps.
Do all of those things but don't make them more important than being happy with yourself in your own relationship with yourself, with your own relationship to your health, with your own relationship to your finances, with your own relationship to your spirituality, with your own relationship to your own emotional well being and happiness.
When those things become priorities in your life, then you meet the right person along the way and you become way more attractive because most people don't have that figured out. When someone comes across someone that finally does, it's attractive. Being happy is attractive.
Committing to your highest potential is attractive. Working to create the best life for yourself is attractive. When you're on that path, trust that the universe will bring the right person into your life. They will bring it because the people that you attract into your life are simply a mirror of your relationship with yourself.
When I looked at the relationship that failed, that relationship didn't work out. In a lot of ways, it was very unhealthy. I look back at myself at that time and in a lot of ways, I didn't have a healthy relationship with myself, my soul and my happiness. There was a lot of ways I could have addressed that and I didn't.
That's okay, but my outer relationship was a mirror of that. The heartbreak was the biggest blessing I ever had because due to that pain I experienced, that's what caused me to take a step back and address those things within myself and put more intention and attention on those things and start redirecting my life force towards the things that I really wanted.
I was really passionate about creating the best life possible for myself. When I did that, that's when I met Ashley. I'm sure she can tell you it was the same thing for her too. It's all going to be okay. It really is, and this is a sign that your soul mate is speaking to you. I even take it a step further.
When two people are totally full and they come together, that's where the real magic is. Don't be afraid. It's all going to work out perfectly. The only thing you can control in this moment is creating the happiest life for yourself that you possibly can.
How does that look? If you were to spend the rest of your life "alone", how could you create the happiest life for yourself possible? That's basically what I said to myself. If I never attract the right one, how could I be happy?
I started building my life. Number one is you've got to be exercising every day. You've got to be getting in the gym every day. It's creating self esteem, self image. It's creating a clear mind. It's doing all of these great things.
Number two was I've got to have that connection to my own spirituality to a higher power. I've got t be investigating that. Then the next is career, right? We spend a lot of our time working. How am I not giving my all? First of all, what do I really want?
What do you really want out of your career? You have to be the best version of yourself to attract the soulmate made. It's just like you've got to clean your porch, right? You have some guests coming over, right? It's just been all windy and all the leaves blew everywhere.
Right now we're in a tropical Hawaiian storm, so we'll use me as an example. I have friends coming over and it just looks like a mess because there's all the wind. Before I would bring those guests into my home, I would clear the space, right? I would clear the space, get the broom out and clean it up.
I'd make it look better. It's a similar kind of analogy. We have to become the best version of ourselves and not always that we have to be it, but we have to commit to it and during that process on that journey, on that path is when we meet the right people. That's when the soul mate shows up.
I have to be able to make myself happy for my relationship with Ashley to work out. It's not the other way around. She can't make me happy. I have to be able to make myself happy and she has to be able to do the same. Otherwise, we're just going to be projecting our stuff onto one another - our unresolved issues, our own resentments our own regrets, our own despair, our own insecurities. We'll just project them onto each other.
Then that's how relationships fail, right? That's the magic; there is love out there for you. I'm telling you, there is. I honestly believe that from the depths of my soul that you're soulmate is out there. The perfect relationship for you is out there. You have to believe that you live in a friendly universe.
If you believe that you live in a friendly universe, the love's going to be there. If I live in a friendly universe, how can I treat myself as best as I possibly can to find the most happiness within myself to be the healthiest, happiest version of myself?
How can I commit to that? I'm only in this body one time and I have to sit with myself every single moment. If I have to sit with myself in every single moment, I want to sit with myself in happiness, not in regret. Not In despair, not in insecurities, not in what could have been, what should have been. I want to create happiness. I want to be happy.
That's a question that changed my life. I said "How do I want to be happy?" I wanted to do this. I wanted to write books. I wanted to be inspiring people. I wanted to build a community like this. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to exercise almost every single day. I want to be outside. I want to be hiking, I want to be in nature. I want to get a hold of my finances.
You might have some debts that you might be able to work on repaying and fixing those situations right now as you wait for your soulmate to show up in your life. You may be underpaid at your job and you may have always wanted to start your dream business. What is the way we can sweep our own porch right now?
Believe that it will make the way for your soulmate and decide that even if it didn't, your happiness is your number one responsibility and your number one priority in life. Even if doing all these things wasn't actually going to help you attract your soulmate, it was just going to make you more happy than you could possibly be in your entire life.
When you're on that journey and then you start to meet people, you date people and share your journey and where you're at with them, and you guys get to know each other, you become amazingly attractive.
Here's this man, here's this woman that says "Hey, I'm only alive once. I want to create the happiest life for myself. Here are my goals. Here are the things I'm working towards.." That becomes magnetic and then you build a power couple. That's how those things start to form.
They start within ourselves, not in other people. When we go within ourselves like some people, they can never find the right date. It doesn't matter. They can be on every single platform - everything in the world, they can't find the right date. Other people go on to one online dating platform once and they meet their soulmate because they were in the energy of it already.
You matter. Your happiness matters and if you want someone that is really going to compliment that, then you have to say right now, "My soulmate is coming, but right now I have work to attend to. I have a garden to continue to nourish and grow, and that garden is my life. Then great things start coming, and they're all on the way to you. Don't allow a past heartbreak or any of those things to bog you down.
They don't exist anymore except for the fact of what they can teach you. My "failed" relationship with that woman doesn't exist anymore except for the fact that of all the things I learned out of it. I learned that I was spending way too much time thinking that a woman was going to solve my issues and not enough time focusing on my purpose in life and my goals in life.
My energy was focused in the wrong place and this "heartbreak" was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was like this magic pill that seems super bad for awhile, but then it changed my life. You're worthy of love. Just love yourself even more now. Love yourself even more now.
Commit to loving your life even more now. That energy of love starts to just reverberate more and more. It builds a more and more powerful enough energy field and it starts to pull the right person into your life and then boom, you meet your soulmate. It happens sometimes when you least expect it. You're worthy of love.
Comment down below: I'm worthy of love
Get that into your subconscious. That's why I'm asking you to comment it. Let's make sure that we walk away with something. Take a deep breath in and say "I'm worthy of love." All the resistance that comes up to that thought is just resistance. It's just the past. You are worthy of love. If this blog speaks to you, please make sure you read it back through and allow the ideas to really sink in.
I created a success hypnosis that changed my life. The reason that I did that was to start to rewire my subconscious mind during this process because I had all these limiting beliefs that I wasn't good enough, wasn't smart enough, and all these things that were blocking success in life. I created this self hypnosis to start to change my thought patterns and my life changed.
Go ahead, download that and start to use that to retrain your subconscious mind so that it makes it easier to attract more success into your life, to attract the things that you truly desire in your life by eliminating all of the old ideas that are in opposition to "I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. This won't work out." Just press delete on it.
Comment down below: I am worthy of love.
Have beautiful day.
Jake Ducey is a two-time published author with Penguin/Random-House (The Purpose Principles and Profit From Happiness), a leading speaker for his generation having been featured in TEDx Youth, hired by mega organizations such as Nielsen and Accenture, and a leader who has already inspired countless thousands of young people to seek meaningful career success and to make a difference in the world.