Yes, it's possible!! It may seem like it's not but stick around for today's blog and discover the tools and perspectives to never get mad or upset again! I'm so happy you're here. Let's dive in!
When I originally recorded the video for this content, I filmed for about 25 minutes. I was really in the flow, and then learned my microphone wasn't on! As you can imagine, that is a moment where frustration is expected, right? And it made me think that everything is exactly as it's supposed to be.
What causes you to feel upset by a negative, difficult or toxic person? It's not the other person. It's our resistance to what's happening, wishing they were other than they are, that the moment was different than what it was, that we didn't have to go through this. It's our resistance to what is happening. And when my microphone was off, I realized, everything is exactly perfect.
It's exactly as it's supposed to be for me to learn the certain spiritual lessons I meant to learn and for you to learn the certain spiritual messages that you're meant to learn. So comment down below "all is well".
In order to really look at it and not get upset or allow me to feel so bad or stressed, first we need to have a knowing of the purpose of life. I believe that I'm a spiritual being in a physical body. I'm a soul using a physical body here to learn certain spiritual lessons. I believe that you and I are individualizations of this God energy of this universal energy. This God energy is in everything. It's the walls, computers are made of it, it's in every cell of your body. It's in everybody. It's in everything and we are an extension of it.
We incarnated here as spiritual beings and physical bodies to learn certain spiritual lessons. And one of those lessons is realizing the perfection of the universe. It's to understand the perfection of the universe and to learn how to trust ourselves and our inner compass that is God speaking through you.
There was an Indian guru. He was giving a a talk and a woman was like, "how can you be saying that life is so good when there is so much wrong in our world?" And he said, "mam, in my world, nothing is wrong.In my world, All this well".
He understood that everything is always going to change and that we actually incarnated here into this world of polarity, positive, negative, dark and light, in order to to learn the lesson. And that lesson in this instance is to not take things personally and understand that there is something that we can do about it. Exercising our freewill, and we're also learning and in very quick time how thoughts create reality because it's not what they say. It's how we react to what they say.
That's controlling how we feel. So I wanted to get with you a few takeaways that you could utilize to learn how to create actual freedom in those moments. So let's begin.
Never Get Mad Rule #1 - don't go as often and don't stay as long.
If you're dealing with negative and toxic people, don't allow the guilt and shame of needing to spend time with them ,take away your own peace. Say Right now, "I intend to feel good". Make it your intention in life to feel good. Most people's intention in life is not to feel good. It's for other people to like them. So we allow guilt and shame and whatever else to control our decisions. it's a totally toxic cycle.
It might be your mother, your father, your family, your ex, a coworker... Bob proctor said it best. Don't go as often and do not stay as long if your intention is to feel good. Most people don't feel good because what ends up happening is they allow guilt and shame to control and they hangout with this person that they've known for 20 years, but they're actually really negative and you're on a really different path. We're afraid of what they'll think of us or being a bad person. So we continue in essence, to defeat ourselves by allowing guilt and shame to control us.
Don't go as often and don't stay as long. It doesn't mean you don't love the person. You can love them from a distance. You don't have to be rude about it, but don't go as often and don't stay as long.
Never Get Mad #2 - SWSWSWSW
That's not a typo. That's what Jack Canfield says. It stands for "Some will, some won't, so what, someone's waiting!" When we are taking action towards the things we want, we naturally face rejection. People tell no, right? And it's very important to understand that some will, some won't, someone's waiting.
When I was starting my career, I sold my books out of the trunk of my car to start for the first three or four years. I went on little speaking tours. None of them were big events where people lined up to sign my book. So I had to go out and sell my books. I will not advance work tour and which was at the time, 25 year running one of the longest musical tours and largest musical tours in North America during the summers.
They would do about 50 cities in 60 days and there'd be tens of thousands of people per city. So I was on a tour bus with my wife and I was their first ever motivational speakers. So the event would start at 8:00 AM and the lines would start at seven so there'd be thousands of people waiting in line to get into this arena or center for concerts. I would start at 7:00 AM with a backpack. I put like 15 books in my backpack and then I'd carry three of each different books that I've written.
I went out and talked to as many people as I could. On a good day, If I had lots of energy and lots of caffeine, I would probably talk to 500. Maybe more sometimes. I was starting at 7:00 AM and there would be, you know, a couple thousand people in line and I would just spend a couple hours straight as people are going in the line and saying, "Hi my name is Jake Ducey. I'm the first ever motivational speaker on vans warped tour. Do you like traveling around the world all?"
From there, I would have a conversation and offer this whole pitch about my story and ask if they wanted to buy my book! Some said yes and that was amazing. But as you can imagine, many said no!
Some people will try to beat you down and try to tell you you're stupid. Not Smart enough, too fat, too skinny, too old, too young. Your dream is impossible. You're not good enough. You're not smart enough. The crazy thing is most people think they're saving you and doing you a favor by limiting your dreams.
All you need to realize is that people are projectors. We can only project an energy. We emit the language we have matching our inner world. So whatever you feel within yourself, whatever anyone feels within themselves, whatever their behavior is, you can clearly see that that behavior is a direct reflection of their inner state.
When people say no, I just let it slide off. Why would it effect me? I have my energy field and a deep knowing. This random person is telling me no, and thats fine. Someone else is waiting to say yes!
I wouldn't argue with them. I would just leave them on their way. They're free. My free will is to express myself. Your free will is to be happy. Your free will is your dream or goals or desires that you have and someone else's free will in your life might be to be a total a-hole. That's the journey that they're on because maybe eventually later in life they'll learn how to free themselves of negative emotions and start to be in a position of gratitude in their life. Or maybe they won't. And really they're just supposed to be an alarm clock for you, a wake up call for you, for you to keep learning these lessons and commit further.
This creates a natural self reliance. When we don't care about other people rejecting us, we can project our abundant inner world so loudly, the no's will drown out in the noise of success and they may even become something fun to notice as it slides right off your energy field.
Never Get Mad #3 - that's not part of my belief system.
Thank you. But that's not part of my belief system. Now this is an easy one that you can say, it might be a coworker that's very, very, very negative and all they do is just shoot down every idea in the book. You've got to understand they've probably been going through the ringer in their life or they did in their childhood. And that's the reason they are the way they are.
When we realize that we can actually have a little bit of compassion for them. They're obviously struggling a lot and then they're in denial about the fact they're struggling. So then they, they distract themselves by getting mad at you or always putting up an energy of confrontation because it's what they are used to. The coolest thing is that you have a conscious mind and your conscious mind has the ability to accept or reject any ideas. This means when somebody comes at you with negativity, you don't have to accept it. Your conscious mind can just be like, no, that's not my reality. So I always say thank you, but that's not part of my belief system. You could say it in your mind or you could say it out loud to that person with a lot of love and compassion.
Hey Billy, I understand where you're coming from. You don't think this is gonna work. You think this is a bad idea. You think the world's going to crap. You think this, you think I understand you, Billy. I really, I really do understand you and I appreciate you and I appreciate you sharing, but you gotta understand that's not part of my belief system right now and I'd really appreciate it if we don't discuss the subject again because this is very important to me and this is what I want and did not and on and on, so thank you, but this is not part of my belief system. You can either decide to do it out loud or just in your own head, which is just a note for you to remember that you can reject other people's opinions and belief systems and they don't have to enter your own subconscious mind.
Ultimately, your thoughts and your feelings are what create your life and other people's negative thoughts and feelings that they project onto you. You can reject their own energy and essentially create your own force field that allows you to be free and not be upset, bothered, frustrated, angry, or pulled down by someone else's issues that they have in their life.
Never Get Mad #4 - compassion.
You can always try this method too. When someone gives you a hard time, ask "Is Everything okay? What's going on in your life right now? You know, I'm here for you." Sometimes we want to distance ourselves so much out of anger. Maybe sometimes it might be nice to try the opposite approach and come towards them with compassion and see if you can let their fences or their guards down.
Sometimes people's negativity and toxicity is actually our wake up call. It's actually our alarm clock for the certain lessons we're supposed to learn in life that are gonna help us on our journey to come. Because life isn't trying to break you. It's trying to shape you.
The most powerful tool i know of is my success hypnosis. I created a success hypnosis! Now, the reason I did this is because in the early stages of my career, I felt like I had so much opposition. People saying, you're too young. You won't do it because of this. You didn't go to school. You need to cut your hair...I was tired of being influenced by all the negative people around me.
So I created a success hypnosis to start to reprogramming my subconscious so that I could actually start to have my own beliefs instead of all the negative energy I was hearing from outside of myself. I like to say "brainwash yourself before the world does"...Even though the world has already brainwashed you...its a saying. You get it!
You can always handle every situation with love, with grace, with compassion, and with freedom for yourself and for others in mind. As this begins to occur more and more frequently, what we find is negative, toxic, and difficult. People are just a part of the journey of life. And we're here to learn certain things. And oftentimes when we can approach this with presence, by focusing on the rising and falling of our breath, having a smile on her face, a lot of times we can actually help awaken these people and actually become a source of inspiration, enlighten their lives, and that's the real mission that we're all on. So have a beautiful day. I love you. I'm sending so much positive energy.
Jake Ducey is a two-time published author with Penguin/Random-House (The Purpose Principles and Profit From Happiness), a leading speaker for his generation having been featured in TEDx Youth, hired by mega organizations such as Nielsen and Accenture, and a leader who has already inspired countless thousands of young people to seek meaningful career success and to make a difference in the world.