How to let go of past romantic failures to attract your soulmate?
This is a new show. It's called the Ask Jake Show. We'll do one or two episodes a week and this question is coming in on the Ask Jake Show. Comment your questions below. Let's dive right into how to let go of past romantic failures to attract your soulmate.
All right. How to let go of past romantic failures to attract your soulmate. Well, the first thing that I'd say is you used the word failure. And this is for everyone listening. Think about the word failure, right?
So the first thing is - what type of energy do you have around that past relationship? Because when I look back at my romantic failures before this last one - my one before me and my soulmate, was one where the woman ended up leaving with another man going to the other side of the world. And at the time I looked at it as a failure, but it was actually a total success.
I had some things that I had to learn about myself, learn about being in a relationship. And I had to practice letting go and sending love to that, so I could be in a position to attract something better for me. And so what happened was, all of that being so, it allowed me to really ask myself - what do I want? What type of qualities do I want out of my partner? Which I had never done before.
And so actually it wasn't a failure. It was this universe saying "Hey you're close to your soulmate. Let me throw this at you. That's not gonna work out how you want, but it's gonna help you to attract everything that you do want." And so why is it a failure, right?
And looking into the thought pattern around that, because anytime we have something in our life, whether it's a romantic relationship, or an opportunity to make more money or business - anytime we look at it like a failure there's often some uncleared energy around it. And when our energy is stuck, it doesn't allow us to attract what we want.
And so the second thing I'd say is - if it's called a failure in your eyes, then my next question would be - how do you feel about that person?
You know I don't know what happened, but how do you feel about that person? Because one of the biggest ways people don't attract more love into their life is they're still angry, or upset, or frustrated, or heart-broken around the last relationship. So our energy isn't in the space to bring something different in, because we haven't cleared the past.
And so if you've had a failure in a relationship - no this is so for anything, a failure in a job, or what have you - then the question is: What do you really want? What do you really want?
Because if you look at it from a higher perspective, you don't even want a certain person. You want a certain quality and energy around a relationship. And so the question is - what type of qualities do you really want in a relationship?
Now what I invite you to do is just write it down on a piece of paper. What type of qualities, what things am I looking for?
After mine "failed", then what I did is I wrote them all down. And I wanted a creative person, I wanted an artist, and had a list of all these things. I've literally attracted that exact thing into my life with my partner. She's a professional artist. She's one of the most creative people I ever met.
And so what I invite you to do would be that. And so sometimes we get what we don't want, to help us clarify what we do want. But for a lot of people they aren't able to clarify what they do want, because they're still holding on to "Why did this not work?", "Why did this not work?", "Why me?".
But especially in the context of romantic partners, life isn't happening to you, it's happening for you.
And so the question is - what good could be coming out of this? What good could life be trying to teach you? Are there ways you could show up different in that relationship, that would allow you when the perfect person comes, there's things that you've learned, about love, about anything, that could be more valuable to help this next relationship get to the next level.
So clarify the qualities that you want and when you can start unconditionally sending love to something that's failed, you clear the energy of it. Which puts you into position to attract something new, to attract your soulmate.
And the next question is - why do you want the relationship, right?
Because what happens is sometimes we cannot attract the soulmate or the romantic relationship that we want because we need it really bad. On this channel I talk a lot about how the law of attraction is a secondary law to the law of vibration.
The law of attraction says like attracts like. But the law of vibration says everything has an energy frequency, and that you have an energy frequency. A vibration is another word for that. Well, when we need something, when we need a relationship, when we need money, when we need this, we're generally coming from an energy of lack.
And so we'll attract relationships that don't quite work, and people and partners that don't quite fit. And so the question is - why do you want one, to attract your soulmate?
I didn't attract Ashley into my life until I said - I don't need a relationship anymore. Like, I don't need one. Right now, I need to focus on, like, what's my vision for my life. And I'd asked myself that question. For anyone listening - what is the vision for your life, and how can you show up fully for yourself? Because someone else isn't gonna show up unless we're showing up fully for ourselves.
And from my own experience after my relationship failed, then I realized there was a lot of areas of my life and myself I hadn't shown up. I wasn't in that great of health, wasn't in that great of shape, I wasn't making the progress that I needed to make professionally if I wanted to make this my career. There were a lot of aspects of myself that if I was honest with myself I needed to address.
And I think the relationship failing hurt so much, because it made me look at myself in a light that I didn't want. To hold the mirror up and be like "Dang, Jake, how can you get better?".
And so that's what I'd invite everyone to consider when it comes to that - how to clear the a failure in a romantic relationship to attract with you want.
Write down what you want. Send love to that person. Clear all of that frustration, hatred, sadness, confusion. And lastly, how can you go all-in on yourself? How can you go all-in in yourself? Because that's what makes us, magnetism, and that's what makes us extremely attractive.
It's like when we're all in on ourselves and we don't need something, and so when the perfect dream guy or woman shows up in your life, you're there in a position where you're very attractive, you're very vibrant. Their unconscious energy is being sensed out, that romantic sexual energy, and that stems from you being totally connected with your true self.
What good could life be trying to teach you? Are there ways you could show up different in that relationship, that would allow you when the perfect person comes, there's things that you've learned, about love, about anything, that could be more valuable to help this next relationship get to the next level.
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And so my invitation is - how can you connect deeper with your true self, with your vision for your life, with your mission for your life, and how can you live that now? This is how you will attract your soulmate. Because when you recommit to that, the universe says "Okay cool. Now I understand who's a better match as a soulmate or romantic partner that I could attract into your life. I can understand now because you're even solidifying and recommitting to your desires and your goals even more. So now I'll give you something that that'll work a little bit better.":
And that's how the universe interacts with us on a romantic level, and that's what happened to me. I leveled up, and then out of nowhere, I wasn't expecting it, that's how I met Ashley.
And so I hope this video speaks to you. This is the Ask Jake Show, the first one we've ever done. Comment your questions below. Once or twice a week we'll start answering them and have a beautiful day.
Download my free success hypnosis to train your subconscious mind for success, abundance, prosperity. If you've got somebody that you think this video will speak to, please share it with them. Comment your questions about mindset, law of attraction and attracting what you want in your life. I'll do my best to answer them for you.
Jake Ducey is a two-time published author with Penguin/Random-House (The Purpose Principles and Profit From Happiness), a leading speaker for his generation having been featured in TEDx Youth, hired by mega organizations such as Nielsen and Accenture, and a leader who has already inspired countless thousands of young people to seek meaningful career success and to make a difference in the world.
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